School Selection

As a Certified Educational Planner with decades of experience, I have seen families choose great schools for their children. The key to the
perfect fit is trust in the institution and its values and culture.

When parents choose a school, they are trusting the adults there with their beloved child. Identifying a place that is right for your student is paramount. Families who find that match will trust the school more and will inevitably enjoy a smoother journey through their child’s education.

I interviewed five boarding school leaders to discuss how families can leverage the admissions process to find a school they trust and where their child will thrive. All the schools where my colleagues work—and many others—have key components in common. They provide an excellent education, have faculty who care deeply for students, boast strong leadership and set kids up well for success in college and beyond. But the details that determine fit and trust are different. These institutions are big and small, coed and single sex, nearby and further away, traditional and progressive. Their culture and environment differ. None will be the right fit for each child or for every family. These leaders want a good fit just as much as parents do. They shared their wisdom, so parents can better determine the right match in advance of enrolling.

First, these experts advise starting with a reality check about who you are and who your child is. “I think the first step in this process is actually going into it with eyes wide open about your own child,” says Amanda Bohnsack, the outgoing Director of Admission at Deerfield Academy and incoming Director of Enrollment at The Taft School. “What are they passionate about? What do they want? What do they need?”

This involves being honest about yourself and your child. Does your child need extra support in a particular academic area? Are you as the parent comfortable with a school that allows for a growing independence? Do you desire a school with sit-down meals in more formal attire or a robust commitment to service?

Your preferences may be informed by gauging your reaction to the wording you see schools using. The Hotchkiss School, for example, employed the tagline “Hotchkiss: It’s different” during this year’s revisit days for accepted students. “I think families who choose us want the challenge,” says Erby Mitchell, Assistant Head of School and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid. “It’s not simply about the academic challenge. It’s about the challenge of getting better on the field, on the court, on the golf course, or getting better at leadership.” Parents might ask themselves, “Does that kind of environment sound like something that would invigorate our child?” “This process—I know it sounds clichéd, but it should actually be really fun,” says Jeff Beaton, Chief Enrollment Manager at Choate Rosemary Hall. “It should be super reflective. It should be really thoughtful—what do you want out of the next four years of your educational journey?”

Once you have a sense of what you need and want, the next step is to explore schools. Perhaps the best way to discern fit is to look at a school’s values and culture. Schools say what they value through their mission statement and other wording on the website, but an even better indicator of what really matters is what they do. The experts suggest you ask schools about where we can see what makes their school unique.

At Western Reserve Academy in Hudson, Ohio, Head of School Suzanne Buck leads a boarding institution founded in 1826 by settlers from Connecticut who wanted to create a place similar to Yale. They even used the same motto Lux et Veritas, which means Light and Truth. For Buck that translates into joy, which she weaves throughout Western Reserve’s culture. At the school’s opening convocation, the community filled the chapel with bubbles—a visual representation of their collective effervescence. In keeping with their motto, they leaned in on April 8, when they were in path of totality for the solar eclipse. The day also served as an early kickoff for the school’s 200th birthday, with an innovation competition, a cookout, and a school musical group singing “Here Comes the Sun.” Buck suggests families ask schools,  “How do you live out your vision? How do you live out your motto? How do you execute what you say your values are?” Then you should ask yourself, “Does that resonate with our family?”

Katherine Windsor, the Head of Miss Porter’s School, shows parents they can trust her school by working hard to guide them and their students through that first goodbye and the days that follow. “We're thinking five steps ahead,” she says. “We say things like, ‘Please don't text your daughters all day long’ and particularly with questions like, ‘Have you made a friend? Are you happy? Do you like your advisor?’ That’s called interviewing for pain. I say, ‘Girls, your parents are sitting at home, crying, worrying about you. I want you to take some pictures of your dorm room. Take a picture of your first meal. Take a picture of your first trip to Starbucks and send it to your parents because that will make them happy.’”

She also invites all the parents into her home before they leave their daughters on campus. “My husband and I welcome everybody,” Windsor says. “Everybody’s met me. They’ve been in my house. They go through the front door and into the backyard because you can’t fit everybody. But they’ve been there, and I’ve been able to look them in the eye and say, ‘We’re going to take care of your kids.’”

— Camille M. Bertram
Founder and President, Campus Direction

Ideally, the admissions process sets the stage for success once your child enrolls. Your goal is to choose a place you trust and who will partner with you. You might ask how the school approaches typical challenges like disagreements with roommates and then ask yourself if you feel comfortable with the answer. Here is an example from Choate: “Rather than change their roommate, we’re actually going to have them get through that conflict, because that’s what’s going to happen in the real world,” Beaton says. “We’re going to talk about it and come to a conclusion that makes sense for both of those kids.”

Most schools have a designated point of contact, an advisor or a house parent, to whom a student can reach out when he or she has a problem. But Buck assures parents that the Western Reserve admissions office team, whom they came to trust during the search process, also can continue to be a resource. “It’s okay to reach out to the admissions officer that you had comfort with and say, ‘Hey, this is making us feel uneasy. What are the resources that we can utilize to explore this further? Or do you have thoughts for us as to what our next steps may be?’” Buck says. “Our admissions officers are great resources and can help point you in the right direction to work on something in a thoughtful and strategic way.”

As you look at schools, listen to your heart and which aspect of each campus and curriculum makes your heart sing. At Western Reserve, one distinctive feature is their cancer immunology program where students produce near graduate-level work and present at a national oncology conference every year. A piece of this that might be different than at other schools, however, is that students work very collaboratively rather than as independent researchers, a reflection of the kindness at the core of the school.

For Hotchkiss, the diverse student population from all over the world is an important distinctive characteristic.

Miss Porter’s values identity— something that traces back to their founder, but it has taken on new meaning over time.

Taft, where Bohnsack is headed, has a physical layout with a main building that is a community crossroads. “You can’t help but bump into people, and that just promotes conversation and this great feeling of connection.”

At Choate, they are forward-oriented. Long before environmental issues were the focus they are today, the school had a completely immersive center for environmental studies, where students live on a separate mini-campus nearby and study all aspects of sustainability and the natural world. And as artificial intelligence becomes a force, they have three working groups, one each for staff, faculty, and students, to explore how they might use AI responsibly.

There is a fit for every family somewhere if you look thoughtfully. Mitchell was on the parent end of this process with his daughter this year, too. “The questions I’m asking on revisit days are about happiness,” Mitchell says. “I’m not spending a lot of time trying to understand who gets placed at Ivy League institutions. I want my 14-year-old to have a transformative experience and come out on the other side a confident creature fully prepared to engage in life. I’m more interested to know, what happens when she finds science challenging? Who are the people who will inspire her? I want to know who’s showing up in the theater, because that's what she's passionate about. What are the opportunities for her to think about her own privilege and to give back somewhere? Who is pushing her on that front? These are the questions my wife and I ask as we engage in this process.” That is great advice from someone who has seen admissions from both sides of the desk.